I'm your solace
by Kifujin Kitade
Summary: This hasn't been a feeling easy to admit. That him, the Enforcer – him, the Inspector – and mostly, him, Kougami Shinya, would lust over the nameless monster, Makishima Shogo. Warning: smut, spoilers from the movie, fangirl's delusions


Hai~ Dear koumaki lovers. This time I dont have anything to say. Jesus i'm fed up of this damn training and everything around me and since i watched the PP movie i only live in despair. But it's been thanks to that i could write this fanfic... Aaaa it's just so lame. It seems i really hadn't evolved a bit since my first koumaki fic.

So, if you haven't watched the movie yet, WATCH IT FIRST. There's just so much spoiler in this story... But i'm just too desperate to care about anymore.

Enjoy~

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The air around him was hot and humid, making his skin sticky and his eyes heavy. The sun up there was beating down on the roofs, pitilessly. It was a summer afternoon like any others in this country: hot, lazy and absolutely _empty_.

"This is inevitable. After all, peace is back. There's no longer any need of soldiers or mercenaries."

That was right. Calm and peace. This is what he had been looking for. Well, he found it. So what's the point of complaining?

"Because we're not made like that. We aren't meant to enjoy peace like everyone else. Our nature itself seeks for the thrill of war."

But he had had enough of fighting. He had had enough of having to see people die, to hide and fear for his life. This is common sense, isn't it?

And this damn scorching heat. It was only because of it that his mind couldn't soothe itself correctly. The air conditioner was out of order, and the electric fan was simply useless. It had become gross to lie on his bed as the sheets would only rub annoyingly against his bare back. At long last, Kougami rose from the mattress and went to fetch a bottle of water in the fridge. He gulped down half of the water before uncaringly throwing the remaining cold liquid on his head, right above the sink. It more or less cooled him down.

The former Enforcer hadn't left this hotel room for almost four days. Four long and mind-numbing where all he could do was sleeping, eating, listening to the boring sound of the fan and also…

"That's a pretty lame ending for the great Kougami Shinya."

… And also this.

It was only a mirage, a product of his heat damaged brains. He wasn't truly _there_ , in the same room as him. That was impossible. Yet he could see him. He could see the snow-white and silky hair falling on slender shoulders; he could see the golden orbs, the self-assured and unshakable look.

That was Makishima Shogo, all haughty and smirks, haunting him for almost four days in that very hotel room.

Makishima was sitting by the window in front of him, from time to time glancing from behind the window blind, the light from outside then strangely streaking his pallid face. Seeing him like that, having the white haired man idly talking to him as if they were old friends, Shinya had grown accustomed to all of this. At that point, it was a waste of time to think about why that man was standing in front of him, why the vision wouldn't fade anymore, why it was in the same time bothering him and, bizarrely, putting him at his ease.

Makishima smiled at him "Isn't it because of what that girl told you? That we're alike, you and me."

Even if that was right, it should be wrong. Daydreaming about _that man_ above all was wrong. Shogo laughed lightly.

"I thought I already told you." His hand was half-hiding his thin lips. "That if you really want me to stop, I wouldn't be here as we're talking."

No, Kougami wasn't going to fall in that trap anymore. He just sat back on the bed and stared at the snowy vision. In that room deformed by heat and delirium, only Makishima was clear white, unwavering, imperturbable. Now, the biggest mystery wasn't why a ghost was haunting him. No, that was why he allowed himself to be haunted by a ghost.

"Why, huh? That's a good question." The golden eyed man got up and started to randomly open and leaf through books piled on a desk. "I'd like to ask you the same question. Why are you here? What are you looking for? Why did you have to fight for this country?"

Unfair. Those were too many questions.

"I don't think so. At least, given that the answer is the same for all of them, it's not unfair. Just see it as a way of asking the same the question in different ways."

He's being rhetorical again. Moreover, that smirking bastard didn't seem as if he wasn't aware of the answer. What's the point of asking that now?

"Because I want to hear it from your mouth. This is a whim of mine."

Suddenly, the apparition vanished, only to reappear right behind his back. Shinya shivered when he felt an icy hand making contact with his shoulder.

"This is a whim of mine." Shogo repeated coldly. "Will you fulfil it for me?"

Like hell. Although it should have been quite fair to grant a dead man's wish, Kougami wouldn't let himself drown that much in delusion.

Like a vice, his hand grabbed at Makishima's wrist, pulling him drily so that they were face to face, then pinning him down on the mattress. Tearing the white shirt open, attacking the unblemished skin with his lips and teeth, getting rid of the pants and pressing roughly into the slender man's sweetness…

Four days. He spent four days sleeping, eating, suffering the burning heat, and screwing until his mind got fully blank.

Always the same person. He couldn't imagine anything else but the soft and faint touch of the white haired man's fingertips on his back, the firm embrace of his arms and the maddening cry he uttered as they came together. Kougami was sure he was becoming too attached to that presence, but it couldn't be helped.

"She was right after all." Makishima spoke indifferently.

...

They were both sitting on the bed, Shogo's head resting on Shinya's muscular back while the latter was puffing cloud of smoke after cloud of smoke. The former Enforcer was pretty calm. It was recognizable at his steady heartbeat and relaxed shoulders. Makishima trailed a sluggish hand on them, going from the left one to the right one, before going back up to his neck.

At time like that, the dark haired man didn't even find the strength to curse himself. All he wanted was that hand not to leave his skin, to keep on caressing again, always with the same idleness mixed with craving. Kougami knew perfectly the other man was bare naked behind him, but he didn't care. On the contrary, he craved for their skins to touch, to melt in each other.

This hasn't been a feeling easy to admit. That him, the Enforcer – him, the Inspector – and mostly, him, Kougami Shinya, would lust over the nameless monster, Makishima Shogo. Just through how many troubles had that man made him go? How many of his friends' life were taken, broken, ripped apart? Something had to be wrong with him, Kougami would always think back then.

But that was back then.

By that time, he didn't even know what exactly he should do next. He had locked himself in that room, hoping to find the answer, and in the end, came up with nothing. No, with worse than nothing: that he, in spite of everything, needed the white haired man's presence. It was a shameful desire, Kougami knew that perfectly. He wouldn't have been able to face one of his ancient comrades with that thought in his mind.

"To face them? Why would you?" Shinya could feel Makishima smirking against his back. "Right now, your friends are miles away, and you're here. You had to leave Japan because nor your friends, neither your former society could understand, let alone accept your motivations."

That wasn't a valid reason.

"You're being too intransigent towards yourself again, Kougami." Makishima sighed. "But I guess that's what makes your charm."

 _Stop kidding me_. The dark haired man grimaced. Intransigence towards himself had always been a way of living, even back at his Academy years. Shaping his body and mind around that motto, he had become the adult he was now…

Now? It was laughable. That weight on his back was the obvious proof he had failed at following his own belief. That man surely had come off on him.

"This is how you see things? Let me contradict you, only for this one." Makishima was leaving butterfly kisses on Kougami. It was quite disturbing to imagine that a man who looked that cold could also put such fluffy display of tenderness.

Just stop it already.

Makishima asked, his lips still locked with the former Enforcer's skin. "Why? You can only let it go this way when you're with me. I'm the only one who can grant you the self-indulgence you'll never allow yourself. I'm your foe, and in the same time your solace. What's wrong with it?"

That's because…

"I'm not real?" He smiled. "That's what your mind tells you. But think about it from a different angle: I'm not really here because you killed me years ago, back in Japan. That's a fact. Nevertheless you can hear my voice, you can see my face and you can imagine us having those intercourses. How could that possible be if it's not your heart itself which is longing for it?"

Shogo suddenly forced Kougami to look at him in the eye. They were beautiful indeed, those amber, shiny orbs locking with his obsidian ones. The lips, too. So thin yet pulpous, so tempting yet dangerous. Shogo was holding his head firmly, not letting him a single chance to dodge the next question.

"You didn't fight in a foreign war because the fate of a country moved you to tears, am I wrong? I know you aren't that philanthropic. But this country was on the point of becoming like the one you deserted – the parody of society that you couldn't accept, a laughable farce, a masquerade staging ridiculous puppets acting then dying because there was no need of them anymore… And this wasn't something you wanted to endure a second time." He paused then smiled sadly. "That _you_ would become the enemy of the Sybil System, is the answer to your own question."

What a joke. Said like that, it looked like Shinya truly had become like him.

"This is incorrect. People don't change, you even less than anyone else. Running away from the Sybil System only allowed you to be your true self. And this is the genuine truth, Kougami, that I'm surely the person the closest to your true self. In a world that has even forgotten human warmth, I had been the only one who could stand at the same level as you, who would share the same thoughts as you. This is why you won't forgive me, and in the same time, this is why you'll always be seeking for our embrace." He kissed him on the cheek, then, with a voice barely higher than a whisper, he added, "Kougami Shinya, are you even able to forget me?"

Shinya stared at him for some time then sighed. Forget him, he said? He ran away overseas. He spent all those years from a battlefield to another, only to end up in the middle of a messy room enveloped in smoke, with that sharp amber look constantly fixed on him and (God only knows where that feeling came from) the _apprehension_ that it would disappear someday.

He couldn't go back to that time anymore. It was useless to think about it, useless to wonder what would have happened if things hadn't turned out that way. What they did to each other, what was the outcome of it… It was vain to try to put that into an equation.

In the end, what was left was that room where time had seemed to stop. And morality and sanity didn't have their place in there.

With a swift move, Shogo was in his arms. His mouth locked with the slender man's, eating each one of his moans. It was absolutely exquisite, how he could moan, pant and reclaim the dark haired man's body near his. Maybe that's why Kougami simply couldn't let go of him.

Those hands earlier cold, almost icy, were now hot and scratching at his back, the nails certainly leaving scars on their way. Shinya could feel the pain and the urge of the man below him hitting against his stomach. One the other hand, his thirst couldn't be satisfied by just kissing and abusing Makishima's nipples with his teeth and tongue. He wanted more, he wanted… the warmth, the soft flesh, the incredible tightness only Makishima could give him.

Finally, maybe what made him come back to the white haired man over and over and over again was sheer lust? It would have been a less disturbing reality. Yet, that was too different from lust. Every time his eyes made contact with the pallid, naked skin, every time his hands met the softness of the snowy hair, every time his ears listened to Shogo's voice and his tongue tasted Shogo's taste, his mind would burst into a million of unshaped particles that wouldn't get back to their original form before his passion exploded into the man beneath him.

But the sensation was always increased ten folds when the latter felt it as much as him.

Patiently, his tongue wandered on Makishima's neck while his hands softly caressed two slim thighs, slowly opening them wide so that he could rest himself between them. Makishima let him do as he pleased, from time to time encouraging him with a kiss on his muscular torso or a murmured whimper. It was obvious the man didn't need that much to arouse him, that the very fact that Kougami was the one doing all of that to him was well enough for him.

Shogo was overwhelmed. His arms locked behind the dark haired man's back, he eagerly pushed his lower-self up to meet Shinya's manhood, then began rubbing himself against the hard shaft. The man on top of him bit his lips at the unexpected movement, still he ground himself against Makishima.

The bed under them was creaking sinfully, their panting becoming louder and their bodies growing more and more impatient. This little teasing was visibly satisfying none of them. On the contrary, it was just building up their frustration.

Kougami whispered the other male's name in his ear. The latter shivered. He knew perfectly what that meant.

He unhurriedly shifted from under the dark haired man to straddle his waist, his erection fully at the sight of Shinya. But instead of embarrassing him, it was arousing him more. Kougami took hold of his hand and kissed it, right before sucking on his fingers, coating them totally with his saliva. Makishima didn't lose his time and immediately plunged the luscious appendages in his hole. First, the middle finger, few seconds later joined by the forefinger and the ring finger.

"Aa…Ngh!" He whimpered.

At that moment, Shogo's face was even more delicious than usual. Not only because he was preparing himself to take the former Enforcer in him, but because said man knew he would have let no one but him see him like that.

Like that… That is, with his naked and aroused body completely exposed, and his own fingers fucking his ass, stretching him more and more… Though never enough for Kougami's hard penis.

With his free hand, he spread a little more his ass cheeks. His fingers were now moving more easily. However, that wasn't enough. He couldn't come with his fingers only.

"Mmh… Shinya's… put it in… Hurry!" He whined.

How could Kougami find the strength to refuse such an inciting invitation, when his own arousal was standing straight, so ready to penetrate the man above him? He grabbed Shogo's hips and lowered him slowly until the tight entrance rubbed against the head. Moving his fingers out of the way, Shogo pushed down – quite forcefully – until all of Shinya's length disappeared inside of him.

"Aan! Ah!" He couldn't stop crying, his eyes shut close and his back arching passionately.

It was pulsing, pulsing, pulsing so hard in him, it was nearly maddening. In his mind, there was only one thought: 'Shinya is here, in me.' His body quivered more desperately, so much he had to lean on the muscular man's shoulders.

That man was going to eat him alive, Kougami thought as Makishima's tight walls squeezed him fiercely. The pleasure that man was giving him was so intense it was almost painful. Even the look on Shogo's face, he couldn't tell anymore if it was from pain or pleasure. Maybe both, more than certainly the second one.

Move. He had to move.

Taking hold of Makishima's firm ass for the second time, he slightly lifted the man up, then, violently pushed it down while thrusting his hips up.

"Shinya! Ah-"

Then began the in and out motions. Kougami vigorously shoved his hardness in Makishima's moistened entrance, each shove always deeper than the last one. The white haired man wasn't even trying to hide his delight. Every time Shinya thrust in, he would gladly press down to meet his upward pushes.

That hotness of his was hitting so deep in him… So deep, dead on his sweetest spot. His mind couldn't process anything else. All he wanted was to feel that electric wave go through his libs again and again.

"Mnh! Ugh… Aa… It feels good… Shinya… Ah! Aan… Move faster!"

Shinya complied willingly. Not only did his shoving grow faster, but they also grew stronger. By now, his groin was hitting fiercely against Shogo's ass and balls, and their hitting would always emit a lustful sound of slapping flesh which was mixing with the slippery sound of Shinya's thrusting, the creaking of the bed and Shogo's moaning.

Shogo was already leaking abundantly on Kougami's abs. Unconsciously, his hands went to play with his testicles, pressing and wetting them with his semen. But they would never go upper. After all, making him come was for Shinya only to do.

Suddenly, his body froze. With a brusque shudder and a silent cry, Makishima climaxed on both chests, his shaft twitching hard as it released the last drops of sperm.

"…!"

That tightness had been enough to bring Kougami on the edge. With two powerful thrusts, he flooded himself into Shogo and, during all the process, grunted like a wounded animal. In spite of his exhaustion, the white haired man still rode him a few times until his erection went totally lip, before collapsing on top of him. Kougami took advantage of that fact to bury his face in the silken hair that was falling graciously on him.

Both men were breathing heavily in each other's arms, each one covered by the other's sweat and semen. Kougami had never been a particular cuddler, and yet he didn't let go of the slender man lying on him. He raised a curious eyebrow when he heard the latter laughing lightly.

"No… I was just thinking…" Makishima said, "that you may feel really lonely without me around."

He kissed the dark haired man then withdrew Kougami's flesh from his insides. Right after, he could feel the proof of their climax pouring on his ass and thighs. Shinya's was warm and sticky. Makishima lowered his head so that he was facing Shinya's groin. With no hesitation, he started licking the other male's slick flesh; cleaning all the white liquid from his thighs to his chest.

Even though he had just come few seconds earlier, the licking quickly stirred Shinya's manhood awake again. Makishima smirked at the sight.

"But," he kissed at Shinya's half hard shaft, his eyes fastened on the dark haired man's, "but if you feel to blame for killing me, then just surrender to this illusion once more."

THE END

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Sooo lame T.T


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